We need to talk about a condition known medically as “WAAC” or Win At All Costs.
Within our friendship groups, we can all identify someone suffering from WAAC.
The fierce competitor who despite achieving a level of relentless mediocrity, is still burdened with a “win at all costs” fire in their belly.
The pal who can barely talk after losing a tennis match.
The gentle mum-of-two who alienates her family every time they play Scrabble.
In the UK, the Fast Show manage to capture the WAAC syndrome with their Competitive Dad comedy sketches.
Remember, these people are victims, they cannot help themselves.
Don’t abandon them at Christmas when they suggest “let’s all play Articulate”.
They need your support.
Then there are the professional cheats who use drugs, sandpaper and batons to get a competitive advantage for glory, vanity and cash.
Cheating in football is so endemic that we’re inured to it.
From players diving and feigning injury to managers who “didn’t see the incident”.
But when casting that first stone (hopefully not in the direction of your opponent) then perhaps first we should take a long, hard look in the mirror and check that our own hands are clean.
As we’re about to launch 3ology to the world, in the hope it brings much joy into a troubled world, I have a confession.
It’s time to come clean with a burden I’ve been carrying since cantering to an easy Monopoly win in the late 90’s and it’s this ….
Never again trust me with the banker’s role.
Leaving aside Monopoly confessions … my top 3 cheats using Drugs, Sandpaper and Baton.
1. So many drug cheats out there that it’s a tough call to single anyone out (though honourable mention to Putin for a state sponsored drugs programme that pales into insignificance alongside his other crimes and misdeameanours) but watch “Stop at Nothing” and it’s tough to look past Lance Armstrong
2. Cricket has allegedly always been a game for gentlemen – tell that to the Australian batsmen in the Bodyline series. But the sport went into meltdown when those hyper competitive Aussies used sandpaper to gain an unfair advantage against South Africa.
3. One way to get rid of a difficult competitor, whether it’s playing monopoly or competing at ice skating, is to take a baton to their legs. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you Tonya Harding.